The Shocking Malema Cover-up!

I have just received some startling news about an ANC cover-up regarding Julius Malema's well-publicised outburst to the BBC journalist.
It seems -- according my source who comes with impeccable credentials -- it was in fact not an outburst at all. But before I explain what the fuss within the party is all about, let me, right from the get-go, tell the many government agents who've bookmarked this seditious blog, that no matter how much you may torture me, I will never break my promise to Phineas, the barman at the golf club and reveal that he is "deep throat."
I am after all a professional (albeit unemployed) journalist.
Some background to the story, for the benefit of my three foreign readers, one of whom is my sister.

Telly Tubby

Julius Malema is the leader of the radical ANC Youth League in South Africa. He looks a bit like a black Telly Tubby but is not nearly as friendly, nice or, some would claim, intelligent.
Jellybaby Julie took seven years to complete his five year high-school programme. You'd think those extra two years would have given him more than enough time to thoroughly familiarise himself with his school subjects. Nope. Big J did not cover himself in academic glory. In his final exam, for example, he scored a GG for standard grade woodworking and an H for standard grade mathematics. (A copy of his official matric results can be seen here.)
What is ironic is, at the time, he was the President of the Congress of SA Students which probably explains the current academic abilities of this country's youngsters -- 85% of whom (that's about half Julie) believe wanking is the old capital of China.
But I digress. Back to the cover-up, put in place to prevent extreme embarrassment within the ANC.

Sandton

In April, Julius Malema held a press conference at the ANC headquarters in Johannesburg. Amongst the pearls of wisdom he cast before the trotters of the assembled media contingent, was praise for Robert Mugabe's Zanu-PF party. At the same time he poured scorn on the "Mickey Mouse" opposition. He mocked exiles linked to the Movement for Democratic Change, led by Zimbabwe's prime minister, Morgan Tsvangirai, for using offices in Sandton, a wealthy suburb of Johannesburg.
"They can insult us here from air conditioned offices of Sandton," Malema told journalists at Luthuli House. "We are unshaken. They must stop shouting at us. They must go and fight for their battle in Zimbabwe and win … why are they speaking in Sandton and not Mashonaland or Matabeleland?"
As Malema foamed and frothed, BBC journalist, Jonah Fisher interjected: "You live in Sandton."
The comment rattled Malema and the UK Guardian newspaper reported:

Malema replied: "Let me tell you, this is a building of a revolutionary party and you know nothing about the revolution."
Fisher pressed: "So they're not welcome in Sandton but you are?"
Malema snapped: "Here you behave or else you jump."
This prompted laughter from Fisher and others.
"Don't laugh," Malema growled.
Fisher commented that the situation had become a "joke".
Malema then erupted, asking for a security guard to eject Fisher and telling him: "If you're not going to behave, you're [sic] going to call security to take you out. This is not a newsroom, this is a revolutionary house and you don't come here with that tendency.
"Don't come here with that white tendency. Not here. You can do it somewhere else. Not here. If you've got a tendency of undermining blacks, even where you work, you are in the wrong place. Here you are in the wrong place."
Fisher responded: "That's rubbish. That's absolute rubbish."
Malema continued: "You can go out. Rubbish is what you have covered in that trouser. That is rubbish. You are a small boy, you can't do anything."
Collecting his dictaphone and walking out, Fisher said: "I didn't come here to be insulted."
Malema bellowed after him: "Go out. Go out. Bastard! Go out. You bloody agent!"

Cover-up

The Jellybaby was later hauled before an ANC disciplinary committee and grilled.
My source -- who heard it from someone who has a friend who knows someone who says he is distantly related to one of the committee members -- says Malema turned the proceedings upside down when he dropped a bombshell which, if it had become public, would have shaken the ANC and its support-base to its core. It would have undermined all of Mbeki's years of attempts to emasculate white South Africans.
In the end, in the interests of the country and the party the truth was swept under the carpet as it was deemed the lesser of two evils and better for his future presidential ambitions if JJ was only seen as a raving buffoon.
It seems, my source says, when asked why he had yelled "Bastard" (pronounced "barsted") Malema stated that was not what he had said. He said that while the attention was focussed on the Brit journo, he'd asked his right-hand person what the guy's name was.
"He incorrectly told me it was Edward something-or-other," Malema reportedly told the committee.
"What I actually called him was 'Boss Ted'."

In case you're reading this -- or having it read to you -- Julie this is called "satire".